At Peace With Not Knowing

Change is a weird thing.

I am living in a different house, with different people, in a different town, and working at a different job. I think it's the pace of it all that surprises me. And it's kind of odd that it surprises me because aren't we told that change is the only constant in life?
This time a year ago, I was probably settling in for my last quarter as a UC student- buying books and checking my schedule. I was probably spending time in Davis with my roommates and anticipating the end of being a student (finally). Today, I worked as an employee while students started their first day of classes at college. I worked and went home and cooked. Now I am here writing this. A year ago my biggest concern was passing my classes and getting into a Fellowship program that is not even on my mind. Today, I am working on changing this mindset of planning and endless anticipation.




Instead of being intimidated by and focused so far out into the future- my plan is to focus on this week. Then the next. I've spent so much of my time over the years anticipating what the future would look like- how many years till high school was over, when will my friends be home for summer break, my GPA for college, how many years till graduation, how many months till I hear back about an internship. For once, the farthest I want to reach into the future is tomorrow- or maybe the next 7 days. Because I simply don't know and change is inevitable.

But change has always been kind to me. And I want to embrace change with that attitude.